So, the Prime Minister has finally announced the 21 day lock down.Wise move, I guess, it was much needed. I got up around 6 in the morning because of the period cramps and since then I have been on a movie spree. I feel like I have spent most of my day watching Al Pachino, Robert De Niro and Marlon Brando (in short with the Hollywood’s depiction of the Italian and Irish mob). I watched Goodfellas, Scarface, The Irishman, and all the parts of Godfather.
I feel at home with the idea of mob now after watching so many movies on the subject in one go. Infact, I miss the fact that I will never get to see what really mob did back then because the Italian mob has been wiped out of America and the Mumbai mafia has been mapped out of Mumbai metro. The closest I got to seeing any mob people was when I worked as a reporter, and Chota Chetan (one of the Dawood Ibrahim’s men) was deported back to India and we were to interview him or get his whereabouts. Or other than that there was this man I met while living in Noida, who was working with one of the gangs in UP (not exactly mob, I know, more of a political gunda). However, I do remember the fact that while I was shaking hands with him, I felt like they were hard like a rock. Then, I thought to mysef that this hand has killed many just like what American President Richard Nixon thought when he first shook Zhou Enlai’s hands (former premier of People’s Republic of China).
Coming back from the past, neither I will be able to witness any of those epic wars (like World War 1 or 2) nor I will get to play any role in any hippie culture movement. I have always thought of myself as a war monger and I wish I was born in those times. If not that then atleast during the times of Indian independence movement. When I read all the history, I feel like I have missed out all the action, I mean where is the adventure today. India and the majority of west is striving for peace. There are no strong movements, no women rights movement, no LGBTQ rights movement, no civil rights movement, and no political movement. It feels half of the world is dead and too passive to even give importance to pertinent issues. The only place that is still on war is the Arab world and that I can never be a part of because I have like zero concern for the issue except for the average humanitarian concern (that dies as soon as the newspaper is put aside).
We live in the times of hyper-activism, in the times of social media activism where the only involvement that matters is of posting things online and getting likes on it. There is no ground action. There are no guns, there are no gatherings, there are no live debates, no real fights and not any real antagonisms.
So, recently, when I was so hoping India to go on war with some country, there comes my movement of activism, I get to witness a pandemic. That is none other than the life-threatning COVID-19. I mean just wow. I wanted to be there fighting and I am but inside my house. I wanted to threaten state for spreading violence and playing dirty politics instead I am at war with my fellow citizens who are not listening to the lockdown calls. I wanted to hold guns instead I have sanitizer in my hands. I so wished to be a part of the history as someone who tried to rise up for the cause instead I am trying to lay low because that is the only way my contribution will count.
I am witnessing desperate times but I am not happy because this is not the war I imagined, this war is unfair and not what I assume wars to be. I have no enemy except for the virus whose existence is not even omnipresent. This is all sad. For the time being, I am filling up that void (one that craves war, destruction and violence) by watching all the war, violent, action and mob movies I can find online.